Why Space Is Essential To Relationship Health
“We are spending more time than ever before with our immediate family — with our children and with our partner.”
— Allison Villa
Space is absolutely essential to your relationship health.
And this is never more true than when living in lockdown.
When I say space, I’m talking about personal space. While humans are social creatures by nature and are meant to live in a community, we do need to create space for ourselves — space from our partners, space from our children, and space from our obligations.
In the past, communities and extended families would share the responsibilities of raising children and providing food. Men would often leave for hours, days, or weeks to hunt, and nursing mothers would care for one another’s babies. There was a natural support system built into the life of our ancestors, and the sharing of chores and childrearing allowed people to have space from their partners and children.
The shift to the modern nuclear family has taken away much of this support and space. And with the onset of the pandemic and lockdown, we’ve even lost the space of having one or both partners leaving the house to work and the children going to school or daycare.
Now, many of us are spending more time together than ever before.
Our relationships need space. As Esther Perel says, “Your relationship is like a flame. Personal space is the oxygen that keeps your relationship flame thriving.”
In this episode of Couplehood, you’ll discover:
The different forms that personal space can take — and why it’s so important to identify exactly what you need
Practical examples of what daily, weekly, monthly, and quarterly personal space can look like
Three action items to help you identify and create the space your couple needs
“When we’re apart from loved ones, we appreciate each other more.”
— Allison Villa
Highlights:
01:00 Communities & space in the past
02:11 Modern life
03:01 Lockdown & lack of space
04:01 What is personal space?
05:03 What can space look like?
07:36 Resentment, anxiety & ambivalence
08:54 The retreat
11:08 The weekends away
13:59 Space is a gift
15:25 3 action items
Links:
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