Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
Photo By: Heather Davidson-Meyn, Fun Love Photography
Holy shit, guys.
The next time you hear from us, we will be in Mexico.
So, goodbye yellow brick road.
I can’t believe it’s really happening.
It seems like yesterday that I had my breakdown, the emotional catalyst that led to this grand four-month family adventure.
We dreamed it up, all on our own, Arjan and I.
Our vision.
Our choices.
Our life.
This week, as we have been packing up our home to prepare for tenants to move in, there has been a lot of: “Are we actually doing this?”
We are in disbelief.
Isn’t it funny how detached we can be from our own process?
Our deep conversations and intentional choices have become so natural, that we forgot about the end goal: to create more space for our family.
It’s one thing to have the idea of moving to a new country, it is quite another reality to pack up every little thing you own, and to actually DO IT.
The purging, packing and storing is only the beginning of our journey. That alone has been SO MUCH WORK.
It has been all-consuming.
It has given me permission to let go of unimportant details that give me a false sense of control (don’t load the dishwasher this way, load it THIS way!).
The house is no longer our home, it is the tool that is funding our adventure.
We are trading one for the other, in a way. Our secure life, for the adventure of a lifetime.
The day-to-day survival (getting kids dressed for winter should be an olympic sport!) and trip preparation has eclipsed the excitement and reality that we are actually living our dream!
I must confess that I am still not there yet, emotionally. I need to feel the warm, salty air on my skin, before I believe that it is real.
The past few days have been a whirlwind of goodbyes and packing and tears. So many tears.
I hadn’t anticipated this feeling of loss.
This exit from the matrix is a metaphor for saying goodbye to our “old” life.
I am grieving the loss of what we thought was our path; the stable job, the mortgage, the car, the morning rush to school and work, the dinner every night at 5pm, the read-two-books-then-bedtime routine.
The path where we followed the “shoulds” of societal expectations.
We are intentionally leaving it behind to experience our family with a fresh perspective, without the limits of schedules and time.
Of course we are coming back to it all, but we will come back changed.
The personal growth will be immeasurable for all of us. We will return with a new understanding of ourselves as individuals, as a couple, and as a family.
What lies ahead is unknown.
I am saying goodbye to Canada, with my Vitamix, clean water and community, and choosing a simple life of sunshine, ocean, and family.
In the words of Elton John, I have finally decided my future lies...beyond the yellow brick road.
Farewell, Toronto.
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